High expenses month..

Recently...keep having weird dreams everyday...
last day...dreamt that I was asked to reflect on my attitude towards others..
I was 'rebuke' for being too stern onto others...too serious...which frightens others off...

Hmm....feeling so exhausted after all these weird dreams thru-out the nite...
Thus told myself...I seriously need a break...must go watch Kungfu panda tonite by myself...
Just then angel lutfi sms me say we go watch tomolo..well...that's great..hee..I say..

So instead of watching Movie...I went to shop for belt and evening bag for my mum...cuz she is attending a wedding dinner at Shangrila Hotel next fri..She asked me to accompany her...

I told her its a very classy place...thus I went to get her an expensive top yesterday...and a necklace to go with it...

In order to match her I got an expensive top as well so that she won't feel out of place..tho I actually wanted to wear my gown since I got a number of branded gowns but no occasion to wear...But its okie...what important most is to make my mum look good..

After she tried on the top I bought for her to go with her slim pants..I figure out she needed something more to bring out that look...

Hmm...spent lots of money recently...first is Father's day..and my sister-in-law birthday..then this wedding dinner...and this coming fri is Yama's birthday...and my facial expense...hmm..

Pray that God will provide me with my needs..
Will have to control my expenses already..

okie time to sleep...pray that I will have a good nite sleep...pleasant dreams..no more weird dreams...

Nite everyone.

Just wanna be at ease..

Recently only wanna hang out with people who are close yet not too close with me..so as to feel at ease...

Reason is simple...
If I spend time with people who are really close to me...I will feel bad and obligated to spend more time with them which is not possible now..
I would care very much how they will react if I spend not enough time with them..
Thus I rather not to spend any time with them..if I dun have enough time to spend with them like I usually do..
Hope you guys can understand what I mean..
Like things I do..My ex-supervisor used to tell me "Angie, you know..you are a very good teacher..and set very high expectation on your students and yourself..that is very good...but you know..the only bad thing about this is...if you think you cannot reach the standard you set for yourself..you would rather not do at all...which...hmm...is not very good...cuz I rather you do at least something..even if you think its not the Best of what you can give."

Well..that's really true..
Thus if I can't give my sincere and quality cum quantity time with my best friends and buddies...I rather not to give at all...

And those guys I go out with recently..be it my classmates or other guys...
they are people I feel at ease with...
mainly becuz...they are people who I like...yet have no special obligation..to impress....you know what I mean???

Keep it simple is...they are like my buddy Gilbert...we can be very close like couples..even after he is married...yet..nothing will happen...cuz we know we just enjoy each other as buddies...thus there is no stress or tension between us...no need to impress each other...no need to worry if we will fall for each other...
Totally treating each other as if it doesn't matter you are a man or woman...we are just great friends.

I like this type of feelings...NO OBLIGATION...AND I CAN FEEL TOTALLY AT EASE.

SO...guys...if Angeline ask you out for a movie or whatsoever...dun dwell too much into it...okie...just keep it simple....FRIENDS...or accompany is just what I needed and looking for...Yah...
So dun worry if I will fall for any one at this moment..
cuz...Angeline is not that powerful to juggling between work, study, family, exams, friends, church and Relationship???? No way...I am not Wonder Woman..

Just wanna make it clear here so that we can all be comfortable studying and going out with each other okie..esp those with girlfriend.. :P Don't even be scare..cuz I will never chose to be a 3rd party.

Soar.....

Recently...I have been really Busy...striving hard....
coping with study....work....and life...Wanting to make the best out of the life which God has given me..and all the opportunity He is giving me..to put in my best..

Thot busy and feeling the tension... but I am really happy..

I know I have neglect many people..esp my Youth Fellowship buddies and my best friend..I am sorry but I believe you guys will understanding that I have to concentrate to strive for my happiness and future even tho knowing that I have neglected you guys...

I believe True friends can stand thru Trials and test of time.
Remember that I always love you and keep you right in my heart even tho I might not have time with you.

Take care my dearest....

Yes...and no time for any dating right now..even tho it might add a little honey to this tough time of striving..but...I guess friendship, trust, encouragement, support and sincerity is what I needed most now..

Ganbatte to all who is coping with their work and study at the same time...
One will never know..how tough it is to juggle between the both till one truly experience it by themselves...esp when lots of time for practice and revision is needed...

How I wish I could have a week's break not to work and just concentrate in doing all my revision and practice so as to score the BEST RESULT.

Feeling really exhausted recently esp when Exam is stepping nearer each day..

Alright time to sleep..wanna wake up early morning to study again..
Have a great week ahead everyone..

Cheers!!!

Dun be too persistence..

Today...Someone frightened me away.....

During work...one of the Nigerian (African) guy who is doing his MBA now...near my workplace..came and dated me for a movie for this coming sat or sun...which I already told him...I am not free...as exam is near...

Then he asked for my hp and email...well...I gave it to him..thinking its fine to have him as friend...anyway he is not the only one asking for my number or asking me out....
Not sure why African seems to like me alot...
In the past...I got lots of Africans or African American who are interested in me..
even proposed to me before actually really getting to know me...
I have nothing against the colours...
In fact the man I was deeply in love was an African American...
But seriously sometimes I asked myself...
Am I being nice to these group of Africans becuz they reminds me of him??? Seriously I can't answer that...

Okie back to where I was...
As I was telling my classmate about this student who wanted to date me out...and even wanted to follow me into my class today..which of cuz I told him..outsiders are not allowed in my uni..
An sms came in....
yes..its from him.....
asking me..where am I? Am I still in class or at home???
I havent reply him...
my Hp start ringing....
I saw his number...
picked up and answer...being poliet...

Then he asked me out and insist for a date this sat...
which I told him I can't..gotta work and study...
One thing about African is that they are very aggressive...insist to have it their way....and becuz they are often discriminated...
I din want them to feel that I discriminate them which of cuz I dun....thus I treat them all very nice..
Dun wanna hurt them like many did...

But nice Angel will gets upset or angry if they keep insisting to have their way when I already told them cannot..

I turned him down...and in the mist of our conversation..the line broke..
then he start sms-ing me...
insist me to go for this movie date on this sat after work at nite...
I was getting pressurize...and upset...
I HATE BEING FORCE TO DO ANYTHING....
I get stressed up....
Discussing with my classmate how to reject him without hurting him...
But no conclusion...

Thus I ignore his 2nd call...
and smses...
finally he sent me a last text at least for tonite...saying "No change of mind....ok..Have a good nite rest..."

Oh God...pls...help me..
I hate being court after in such a manner..
any good feelings will immediately become ZERO..and NEGATIVE..

In the past..I had a guy friend who I had good first impression during our first date..
but after that when he start courting after me so persistently...
it actually make me shivered...in fear...
I mean really shivered...
till an extent my boss saw...and then sat beside me...ask me to call that guy friend immediately to tell him its impossible between us and give me a break...
with my boss (who is always like a brother to me) beside me supporting me..I made that call...and finally I threw away the stone...
No more in fear...

My point is...
if u are really interested in a girl....give her enough space to breath...
not to give her pressure and frighten her away....
Any guy that gets too near to me tooo fast....
I will immediately back out..and feel frustrated....any positive feelings will become negative...

Oh I pray that God..this African guy can really give me a break and not to add on any pressure on me...
if he is to come to my store and pressure me for a date again...I will really hit it back this time....
Give me the words of wisdom to reject him and not hurting him.
Already I have an African guy who came to my church with me once...and told me he will come to my church again..(making it as if he is doing it for me...I am already feeling so stress...) All I want is to let them experience God's love and salvation. The chance to experience the important of Salvation by our Lord Jesus Christ.

I never want to hurt anyone in my life... God please give me wisdom and direct my path..Father In Heaven I ask....All I did was to walk the extra mile that YOU taught me to..and sharing the gospel to everyone...esp the minorities...

PICTURE OF LIFE

Went for my facial yesterday after work...
Haven't gone for my facial for nearly a month..due to busy schedule..of studying..

Looking into the mirror now...I saw signs of Aging....
"Aging???" Yes...Aging...No joke....

I started to see some wrinkles by the bridge of my nose....hmm...
doesn't look good...
Its time to apply anti-aging cream I guess...
I never thot I would need it..when friends of mine started using it long ago..for prevention...

I guess its time to start admiring the wrinkles of mine than others....
I used to see and admire the wrinkles on my grandma or any elderly's hands...
thinking that they are beautiful...
cuz each wrinkles tells us a story about their past....

I love to sit around with elderly as they shared about their past..
esp my grandpa, grandma, my dad and mum....
about how they came to Singapore...
Father's side comes from China & Hongkong...Mother's side comes from Indonesia..
And stories about how they start working in Singapore..
what kind of hard life they have...
And how my dad court after my mum...and how my grandpa court after my grandma...
lots of interesting stories.....

As times goes by....these stories beginning to fade off like their memories...
One day...I will have wrinkles like them.....
telling my grandchildren and children stories of my past...
and sharing with them about what I shared in my blog....
My bones will probably be too old to dance anymore...
but my soul will continue to dance with the rhythm of life...and sketches of life..
till I finished the entire drawing of my life...
smiling...waving goodbye to all my love ones......saying "See u in Heaven!"

Wow..isn't life beautiful????

As for now...life goes on...sketches continue....lessons of life will runs ahead till the very end of this journey...

"MY SMILE IS THE PRESENT I SHALL LEAVE TO ALL WHEN I REST MYSELF IN PEACE..PRAYING AND WAITING IN HEAVEN THAT U WILL RECIEVE THE PRECIOUS SALAVATION GIVEN BY OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST...TILL WE ALL GATHER IN HIS WONDERFUL MANSION ABOVE ONE DAY." -Angeline

What is life about????

I always love to watch only happy ending movies or series...
thus whenever I buy or rent Korean series...I will only request for happy ending...

After taking days to watch this new korean Show "My Beloved"...
Finally I have finished watching it...
My sister ask why this time I took such a looooooooooong time to finish the korean show...I told her cuz this time the dvd didn't allow me to fast forward..so can only watch every bit of it...
She said probably its not nice thats why I took soooo long..

Well...I think this show is very nice....
Its funny....romantic and touching................
Esp last nite and today....
I cried non-stop........................
tears just can't stop rolling down my cheeks.......

I am soooooooo touched by their DIE-HARD LOVE AND SACRIFICE for each other...
be it for Family or for the man and woman of their love....
Many times...we are like this show...
we misunderstood others intention............seeing only part of it.....
and this misunderstanding many time caused regrets in our life......

In this show...I see how the young chap(Rain)in the mist of helping his gf (En Huan) taking back her dad's possession accidently caused someone to go into coma and thus ended up into Boy's Home...thus lost the opportunity to study..even tho he was a top student..
His gf becuz her mum owed people money...had no choice but to ran away..at the same time..
However this girl doesn't know what her bf has done for her...only found him missing....just before she had to flee with her mum.

Years later (Rain) young chap became a gigolo for the sake of his 'daughter'.
In order to raise money to bring up this little girl which he was cheated as his daughter and to heal her critical illness..he ended up being a gigolo...cheating rich woman's money...to pay off the heavy medical bills for her daughter....

Rain thereafter met En Huan (his ex) the woman of his life...he started to court after her again... En Huan was engaged to this handsome doctor (Ming suo)...
and then...the entire show goes UP and Down..Up and Down...just like my relationship life...but its worst....Much much worst....
Lots of love...Lots of heart-breaking becuz of Love...
The more love they have for each other...the more they tried to protect each other..the more they hurt each other..thinking that its only best if they.....

Phew...those struggles....really touches me deeply and makes me cry non-stop...
Oh...what an OFF-DAY...

Still....
I feel blessed for being who I am...and thankful for everything I have...
:P No regrets.....only gratitude for life..and everything in life....
Life is beautiful....

One thing I learnt from this show is...
Life isn't easy...but dun give up without trying.....
Fight with your Best to achieve your goal...
Be it Good or Bad...
At least U know U have put in your BEST, you can give yourself a pat, smile and say..."Well Done Angeline, Well Done Joycelyn..Well Done XXX...."
& that's what its about.

Cheers! Ganbatte!!!!!!

Another WOW..Performance!!!

Check this out!!!
WOW!!!
Well-Done!!!
Great encouragement once again from this young chap with great determination!!!
Way to Go George!!!

Great Choreography!!!

Interesting Choreography...WOW...

Check this out..!!!
Its very entertaining...!!!
Applauses...

A whole new perspective

The 'angel' was surprised by my new image on monday when he saw me in class.
Asked if its after our little 'trip' outside my crystal ball brought me shock and got me into this 'extreme' change.

I laughed and say 'no-lah' (singlish). Just wanna do something 'normal' to look 'normal' again..hahaha..
Asking my bestfriend, you will find out that Angie has been changing her image almost every 3 months last year...Its been 6 months since I last did my hair with Joyce in Shanghai on 1 Jan 2008 (first day of this brand new year).
Thus its time to do something to my messy dry hair...

Seriously I told Wendy my hairstylist that I am not used to seeing my hair black again..and ask if it looks 'weird' hahaha..crazy right..???

Our hair is orginally black and I still ask if it looks weird in black..
I guess sometimes we are so used to changes that we have lost the feel of being/look normal again.

okie back to where I was...
After realising that everyone change according to their needs at all times so as to meet and satisfy their needs and be happily motivated to improve themselves..
I no longer stay at the stage of sadness or disappointment.
Like my 'angel' say dun have expectations and you won't feel disappointed.

Yesterday was a stressful day for me..as I worked on the new publication...
I wasn't feeling well..think I was coming down with flu...
At noon, I got myself once again into this nice cafe which I had once mentioned and visited when I was stress from work.
This place has nice designer chair..sells nice cupcakes and coffee, remember???
If not you might wanna check out my previous blog ..hee..

I sat down feeling really cold...
order a cup of camomile tea with honey...
and an All time favourite American Breadpudding... for lunch.
After a few sips of the tea...my body started to heat up and I feel relax and comfy again.

I thank God for a wonderful place..
Total lunch cost $10.40 (tho slightly more than normal day lunch but...its worth..and it meets my need at that moment.)

Today is my off day..finally..
Got myself to sleep till 11plus...then woke up talk to my sis..
she works from home every wed cuz too stressful for her to work at her workplace..thus her boss esp allow her to do her work at home on wed.
I cooked instant noodles for her and myself to eat..
Then sun my clothes which my dear daddy has washed for me..
really thankful that God has changed my dad to become such a caring daddy now..
din imagine he could have such great and good change.
That's also when happiness, appreciation and gratefulness comes in...
when you did not have any expectations and it just happen..

Now writing my blog..
will do some revision today..
tho told Alan..that guy I met for dinner together on sunday that I should have a few hours off for coffee if he really wants to meet up..cuz he called me just before I even reached home, after our meeting asking me..when are we coming out and meeting up again...
Seriously..I do not have enough time and exam is coming..so need lots of time to do revision and rest..so as to keep in good health..

Alright..I need to take a break then do some revision later..and also...hee..finish watching my new korean dvd acted by Korean celebrity Rain...

Ciao..have a wonderful week ahead..!!!
God bless

New Image Wow WOW!!!

Interesting thing happened today...

When I step in the class for my Accounting lesson today....
I recieved lots of WOW..WOW...Wah.....compliments from all my classmates...
They were all so surprised by my new image....
and told me I look great in this new image...........
Well..again...all thanks to Wendy my hairstylist...She has done it again...
creating...a nice WOW...image for me once again..

Its been 6 months since I changed my image...
They asked what makes me suddenly changed my image...
well..actually nothing...
just getting sick of my messy hair...so..thot wanna go for something fresh and new again...
haha......So what did I do to my hair??

Actually nothing much...
just color...and treatment..and trim..that's it..oh and Wendy helped me to change my parting to another side...
If my boss sees my new image....he and the rest of the churchmates..esp the pastors and preacher will be really happy...
cuz...I decided to go for a good girl look....hee..
wanna see how I looked???

Well..later la..hahaha

After class, Khim my classmate took her buddy Aries, Gabriel, Yama and me to an unique place for nice dou-hua (soya-bean curb) and some nice snacks...yummy...
Hmm...its really interesting to eat behind old alley like back in the 70s or 80s...
hee...kind of cool...man..hahaha...





We passed by a nice building and we decided to go and find out what is that building actually...its a very artistic building...
After looking up and down of the building...NO BIG SIGN...finally found a small sign on their directory...
Its actually Lasella...hee...


Then Khim drove us back to Tampines...
and we told her to drop Yama, Gabriel and me at Tampines Interchange instead..

Poor Yama...we were sooooo bad...We purposely didn't want Khim to stop Yama outside his house when we actually pass by..and insist Yama has to walk home from Interchange... "One for all and All for one..." hahaha..
Don't know what this means...
hee....its a secret between us...hahaha..
:P

Thanks to Khim for the ride and thanks to Aries for the nice supper treat...
And thanks to God for giving me great classmates and good hairstylist...to make me look good..hee..