Sorry Helen

Not sure if Helen ever get a chance to visit my blog...
I doubt she reads blogs...

Anyway...wanted very much to attend and help out in her church wedding tomorrow but couldn't because I am soooo tied up by work...still in office working at 8.30pm now..

But I will definitely make it for her wedding dinner on thursday evening..which means I am skipping my class for her big day...don't wanna miss such an important day!

God bless your marriage Helen & Eugene! :))
Happy 20.10.2010

Happy Belated Birthday Sandra

Happy Belated Birthday Sandra!
As you know I am really bad with numbers...I hope I didn't get your birthday wrong...
Anyway dear...I got you your birthday present yesterday...
Didn't managed to find the exact thing you wanted but similar and really sweet ones..I think you will love them....hahaha...

Miss u and your family dear :))
Have fun and stay happy!
May our Lord continue to shower you with grace and blessings....

Angeline (ET ganma)..hee :P

How many 18years will one have???

Today as I was driving on my way back from class...
a thot suddenly struck me...

When was the year which I have dengue fever?
1992??? 18years ago????
and back then how old was I????
18 years old too???

Life is sooo amazing.....
This year is 2x18 (2 times of my initial life..)
By God's grace....He heard my prayer when I was abt to die of dengue at the age of 18...and extended my life....
My new life started at the age of 18...and I am 18years old of my new (extended life). Isn't it amazing?

Thinking back...
18years ago...I asked God to give me a chance to live again....and extend my life so that I can live as a better christian for him....and have I done so???

Comparing my first 18years of initial life and the 18years of my extended life...Indeed I have....tho...I am still not perfect...

How many more 18years will one has to really live up a good christian life...a life that is pleasing to God???

Its time to ponder...to give thanks for another 18years of blessings...grace...and mercy.....Is this why I am feeling exhausted lately....feeling that my body has started to age???

I guess u must be laughing....at an age of 36...I am not young anymore...of course..bones and knees starts to ache....eye sight starts to get blurry when I see things too near or small.....
Yes, undeniable.. even if I do not look at my actual age...many still thinks that I am below 30s.....Aunty & Uncle still call me xiao mei ....(little girl) when I go to buy food...the body does feel that difference.

I wonder...what will the next 18years of my life be....or will I even live another 18years......Life is so fragile......
Everyday is like a new challenge...
Everyday I juggle and struggle and pray for knowledge, wisdom and strength....
to take on the battle....to conquer each battle of the heart....so as to become a better me....

I used to make a wish that if I can chose the way to die...I wanna die with illness on the bed so that I can spread the gospel....till the last sec I leave this world to meet our Lord in Heaven...
unknowingly..thinking that I may have brain tumor and die....probably because I think alot....

But recently....seeing that a child whom I know...at the age of 2 was suddenly discovered with unoperational brain tumor....
seeing how it hurts the parents...and how everyone ard this child struggle with each day....trying their best to find a solution to prolong his life and make him well...
It really hurts....its exhausting but cannot give up.....until the battle is won...

I start to think...maybe....I should not think of having my life to end that way...
But in whichever way my life will end....I pray that even at the very last breath...I can still witness for the Lord...and share the gospel.....telling them that Jesus love them...and that heaven's gate is open for them...all they have to do is just acknowledge that they are sinners and believe in Jesus that Jesus can save them from their sins by using His precious blood to wash away their sins...They will receive salvation...and I can meet them in heaven one day.

Whatever life maybe...be it for another 18years to live...or many more 18years to go...or 18hrs or 18mins..even 18secs...
I believe that God will never leave me...and will be my Lord forever...till the day I return to Him in heaven...
For as long as my journey on earth...God will renew my strength for each day..and let me battle on...and testify for Him....bear witness for the Lord...

Have you found your direction in life?
Do you know where you are going???
How are u to live each day of your life????
Are you wasting your life away????

Life is precious...live each day as if it is your last day....and live with no regrets.....

Emmanuel!!!!

Lots in Mind

Lately I have lots of things in mind...
found myself tangling up with many worries and events in life...
I guess I lost the focuz of life for a moment...
Even tho I asked God for help...praying and knowing that God will guide me thru and provide me with strength each day..
but still feeling exhausted and heavy hearted....
Finding myself sighing alot lately...out of breath..and breathing hard....so as to cool myself down...when getting upset..

Finally after quieting down myself today....I found the source to this problem..
that is even tho I prayed for the Lord to help me...but I did not really let go of my hand to let God handle it for me...

Suddenly I recall this Christian korean animation which depict a man putting in things in his life into his bag. Each day in life, he feels that his burden is getting heavier and heavier...and he started to grumble to God that why hasn't God helped him with his burden...and eventually he found the problem that is even tho he asked God for help but he did not let go of his hands on the baggage (burden) he has and hand in to the Lord....that's why his burden has never left him.

I guess this is exactly what is going on with me right now...
There are many things going on in life...WORK...mainly...as bosses are not around because they have more important things in life which need their focuz and they entrust to me to oversee for them and of course handling major cases for them..
Dogs are not well as well..Ally just had her operation to remove her huge turmor..as big as my palm size...



You probably have a question "what is that round thingy around Ally's neck?" I forgot what is it called but its to prevent her from reaching to her wound to lick her wound..so that she can recover faster..

Good thing that I sent her for her operation on Friday..because Doctor found 4 other small tumor and had them removed as well..at the same time doctor also asked me for permission to remove 5 of her teeth..leaving only 3 teeth now for her as they were not in good condition..
Fetched her back yesterday...
here is some pics of her after her operation.



Back to where I was...I woke up this morning feeling really exhausted...
Even tho I slept at 9plus last night but due to the eventful day yesterday...and an exhausting week with lots of hipccups and misunderstanding...it really makes me feel weary...

During today's service in church, I prayed to God to ask for forgiveness and ask for guidance to know where goes wrong and how to cope with all these..
Finally, just a while ago....I got my answer....
that is tho I prayed, but just that the man in that animation...I forgot to release my hand and pass on these burdens into the hands of God and trust that Lord will take care of these burden for me and takes it away from me..
Sorry Father in Heaven...and thank you Lord,
Without you, I think my burden will grow just like my dog's tumor...bigger and heavier each day..and eventually affecting my health and even threatens my life....
Thank you Lord for being my Lord, my Provider, my Shepherd, my Friend, my Lover, my Doctor and my Surgent...to remove the 'Tumor' of my life....

Bible: Matthew 11:28-30 (New International Version)

28"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."


Praise and thanksgiving to God forever and ever and ever...Amen!!!

Parable of the Sower

No sure if you have ever read the Parable of the Sower in the bible..
It describes the seeds that falls onto different grounds and what happen to them...

Each seeds is like you and me...
We are all seeds that falls on different grounds...

I get very sad to see...Christian...not cherishing what they have..the salvation they have as a christian..and seek after other alternative or pleasure in life...
Forgive me to say my friend..."You are really not knowing what you are missing out..and this will be the Biggest regrets in your life..I promise you!!!"

You have thrown away the key of heaven which was given to you..and chosen a key to the eternal fire....darkness...and loneliness...and a path of no returns...when the door of salvation is close...

Here is the Parable of Sower to share with you...
This is the check list for you and me...see which seed are you...

Matthew 13 (New International Version)

Matthew 13
The Parable of the Sower
1. That same day Jesus went out of the house and sat by the lake.
2. Such large crowds gathered around him that he got into a boat and sat in it, while all the people stood on the shore.
3. Then he told them many things in parables, saying: "A farmer went out to sow his seed.
4. As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path, and the birds came and ate it up.
5. Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil. It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow.
6. But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root.
7. Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants.
8. Still other seed fell on good soil, where it produced a crop—a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown.
9. He who has ears, let him hear."
10The disciples came to him and asked, "Why do you speak to the people in parables?"

11 He replied, "The knowledge of the secrets of the kingdom of heaven has been given to you, but not to them.
12. Whoever has will be given more, and he will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken from him.
13. This is why I speak to them in parables:
"Though seeing, they do not see;
though hearing, they do not hear or understand.
14. In them is fulfilled the prophecy of Isaiah:
" 'You will be ever hearing but never understanding;
you will be ever seeing but never perceiving.
15For this people's heart has become calloused;
they hardly hear with their ears, and they have closed their eyes.
Otherwise they might see with their eyes,hear with their ears, understand with their hearts and turn, and I would heal them.'[a]
16. But blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear.
17.For I tell you the truth, many prophets and righteous men longed to see what you see but did not see it, and to hear what you hear but did not hear it.

18. "Listen then to what the parable of the sower means:
19. When anyone hears the message about the kingdom and does not understand it, the evil one comes and snatches away what was sown in his heart. This is the seed sown along the path.
20. The one who received the seed that fell on rocky places is the man who hears the word and at once receives it with joy.
21. But since he has no root, he lasts only a short time. When trouble or persecution comes because of the word, he quickly falls away.
22. The one who received the seed that fell among the thorns is the man who hears the word, but the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke it, making it unfruitful. 23But the one who received the seed that fell on good soil is the man who hears the word and understands it. He produces a crop, yielding a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown."
---------------------------------------------------------------
Repent and confess your sin...Return to the Lord before its too late...and before..

Don't think that as long as you ever believe in Christ and live as a so-call christian but not having a life of a Christian...does not bear the fruit as a Christian....and you are fine...

Beware "Whoever has will be given more, and he will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken from him"

If you stop attending church...and stop spending time with God everyday...
You my friend is at risk....
even what you have ...(as a christian) might be taken away from you......
Ask yourself...are you really a Christian???
Are you living your life the way God wants you to be according to the Bible???
or are you living a life of lust and pleasure???

Beware....and Repent now...come back to the Lord..for you are not sure..if the next moment...where you will be...and what will be your judgement you have to face...

Life is more than pleasure...food and drink.....
Life is more than 100years on earth...
Compare 100years on earth and eternity.....

Be wise...and make the correct choice...
Plan and store up your treasure in heaven and not on things which will rot/spoil/stolen by theft...

God bless..
May the Holy Spirit guides you...

Emmanuel..

Thanks & Glory be to our Lord Jesus Christ!

Finally got my result for last semester...
I must say...I wasn't very confidence abt last semester exam but its really tough...
even more worried if I will pass or fail...

Finally the result was released....Praise and thanks to our Lord Almighty for His grace and blessing...
I got 3 Bunnies and 1 Cat...if you know what I mean..
Thot I didn't get any Apple...but I am happy enough and thankful enough...
esp my current job requires lots of my attention...

Year 3 is really tough...
I always work hard and pray hard that I will do well in my exams and work..
Not for my own glory but for my Creator's glory...
Because I believe that Men must put in 100% and then leave the rest to God.

If I didn't do well..it will mean I need more time and probably needs to understand what was taught correctly so as to pass and score well..
Whatever the result maybe...I have no say but to leave it to the Lord...knowing that I have put in all my effort...and have no regrets..

To live again..is to live a life without regrets...
That's that also why...I try to put in 100% in everything I do...at my limited time..
so that I live a life with no regret...knowing that I did my best.

The score doesn't really matters to me...
A good result is a bonus to me...
A fair result is a blessing to me....
A bad result means I need to better understand what was taught...

There is a phrase which I totally agree...
that is "Do your best and God will do the rest!!!"

After doing my best...I leave no regrets in life..

I remember sharing with my buddy Emily in my car the other night..
"I am contented and ready for the time to come."
Emily was shocked!!!
Never has she heard anyone saying such words..
I explained..."I am not saying that I want to die..I am basically saying that I am contented with everything God has given me...be it the good times, bad times...all those learning curves in my life....I am grateful for the extension of my life...and I believe I did what I can everyday in my life..and no regrets..Importantly...I know where is my final destination and I have no fear..." Do you know yours?

Question for all of you my friends and readers...(if God leads you here to my blog)
1) If tonight you are to leave this world, base on your current belief and understanding do you think you will go into heaven?

2) If at the gate of Heaven, Jesus ask you..."Why should I let you into heaven?" what is your answer????

Bible, Jesus said "I am the way, the truth and the life...no one goes to the Father except thru me.."

Do you have a definite answer knowing where you will be after you leave this world?
Are you certain?

I am sure that I will be in Heaven, back with my Father in Heaven...when His time arrived...and my mission on earth is done.

Who tells you that life is base on age...
Did you ever attend an infant's funeral...or a child's funeral or a close friend's funeral??

I attended countless funeral...esp Christian...
each time it makes me ponder about life...
Life is not about age...
It doesn't mean a 69 years old will pass away before a 54 years old..
Are you certain at what age...you will end your journey on earth?????

Are you ready for it???
How to be certain???
Answer is simple: Believe that you are sinner..just me everyone...that you lie, you get angry...do what you ought not to do...and don't do what you ought to do...you hate...you steal the time from work...to go facebook...and scolded your parents...etc..

Ask God for forgiveness...Ask the Lord Jesus Christ to wash away your sins with His precious blood that you can be without sin to enter Heaven.

Heaven is a holy place where no sins can enter.
That's why Christian needs to confess their sins everyday..to have the precious blood of Jesus Christ to wash away our sins...
And become the children of God..
As children of God...you can then enters into heaven...
Believe and be save..

The problem about today's society is that people don't believe that anything is free.
Salvation is Free and people do not believe that it could be that easy..
that's why many did not believe in Jesus...

Many believe in Jesus when they are helpless...and hopeless...
Then will they dare to give it a try to OPEN their hands to receive this FREE gift from God..

I must say my friends..and love ones...
since day one that I believe in Christ...when I was in my Primary 3..
I HAVE NEVER REGRETED. TILL NOW I AM SURE AND VERY SURE OF WHAT I BELIEVE.
ONLY JESUS CHRIST IS THE ONE AND ONLY GOD...AND ONLY THRU HIM THAT U AND ME CAN BE SAVE FROM OUR SINS...AND RECEIVED SALVATION.

My friend...open your heart today...look at the stars, the sun, the sky....doesn't the nature tells you that there is a creator...out there and up there that loves you my friend???

Jesus loves you!!!
Believe in the Lord and be ensure..where you will be...after we sign off from this journey of life...

Emmanuel:)
Angeline

Holding a different perspective

Everyone has different experience in life, and our experience, personality leads us into different perspective in life.

There are many lens and schools of thoughts.
There are endless arguement througout the history, debating against who is right and wrong. But in fact there is no absolute right and wrong since there is only different of perspective.

But one thing which I believe and that you might or might not agree..
If one holds the perspective from God, that can never be wrong.
What men can see on earth from where he/she stands only provides her with certain views of life and his/her present situation.

But God from above, sees it all.
And how to view from the perspective of God is to stay close to God, reading His words, praying and understanding how God will see and react.
Just like a lover or your bestfriend. The more you love him/her and spend time interacting with him/her, you get to understand and knows how he/she will think and act.

There seems to be a complex equation which many cannot solve and I am blessed to gain certain insight and managing it pretty well.
That is the issue of God's will and Man's responsibility.

Just last week, I was having a friendly dedate with a German friend, talking abt life. Our discuss about God's will and God's control.
He is a Catholic whereas I am a Christian.
He does not agree that God has 100% control because he feels that the evil one (Satan) has some control which bad things happen to Men.

Its a difficult equation for men to understand..
One can only solve such equation by one formula...that is faith...
With faith I am able to understand what it means that everything is in the will of God yet men has 100% responsibility...

Check out the story of Test of Abraham by Satan...where Satan seek God for permission to take away everything which Abraham has to test God blessed him with everything he has...Did Abraham passed the test, initiated by Satan? Did Satan win?
Nope, in the end, God is right, Abraham remains faithful even when all he has had been taken away from him...In the end...God bless Abraham even more...

My personal belief is that I believe all happens for the good of those who love HIM (GOD)...even tho at this point of time it might seems negative...but if we strive on with Faith...knowing and trusting in God's good will....eventually we will see the light...

Ganbatte!!!

Trust in the Lord without seeing the current circumstance...
Remember...how Jesus calm the storm????

Busy-ness

Busy-ness is nothing new to me..
Each day trying my best to juggle with up coming events and surprises in life requires lots of strength and prayer.

Its God that makes everything possible!

Lately other than copping with studies, work load seems heavier for me.
Trying my best to help my bosses to take over whatever I can so that they can focuz in something more important and critical for them at this moment.

However, there is only one Angeline, no matter how hard I try...its limited of what I can do at the same time...I have only one brain, one pairs of hands and one mouth two ears...just like everyone..
Thus in the mist of taking over my bosses' workload or important project..at the same time I have to delay some of my minor projects..but at the same time struggling to avoid having my customers to feel neglected...

I must admit...I didn't do a good job...lately lost concentration...what my mouth speaks no longer tally with what my brain thinks...because my brain is too occupant with many matters to handle and how to solve the problems...
Good thing is...no mistake made..Praise the Lord..and for work which requires concentration and analysis of problem solving...it is still in good control..

Seriously...I am tired..esp trying to grab as many time as possible to do my revise for my study....Study is getting tougher esp it my last year and six mths before graduation or completing my degree..

Good thing is...my 1st year 1st semester's supplementary paper issue is finally settled after two years...somehow there is miscommunication in the school's admin that my decision two years back was not being brought forward correctly to our UK university that is why they keep sending me letters to remind me to go for my supplementary paper or infact as my 1st attempt of the paper taking into consideration the mishap I had back then. Out of good will the school want to let me retake that two papers so as to take as my 1st attempt for the exam so as to be fair to me. However that isn't what I wanted.
Esp year 3 is no joke.
This semester I have 4 modules, meaning 4 exams to take.
If I need to retake that two modules its going to be 6 exams...its going to be so stressful for me.

And so of course I opt for having them to keep my result as it is, since I can still pass with that result and it should not affect my final scoring for my Hons degree.

I do not want addition stress esp at this moment.
I need to concentrate in my work, my year 3 exams to make sure I do my best and score well if possible, at the same time copping with two sick dogs at home..and my new house renovation.

Planning to start the renovation beginning next month and move in beginning Dec and celebrate Christmas this year at our new place, tho its gonna be a smaller place.
Pray that renovation will goes well and my new house will be nice and cozy:))

Decided to send my dog (white dog) Ally for her operation next mth (oct).
The lump in her breast (likely to be breast cancer) is growing as big as my palm size. She is the closest to me..Tho she is still a happy 'girl' jumping around as if she is not sick..and always smiling, looking silly at me..everyday...that is why its even harder to accept that she is having this terrible sickness in here.
Pray that after the operation, she will be well again.

Too bad happenings around me...I pray oh Lord that You will show your grace and mercy not just to me, to my dog and people around me and their family...especially those in the struggle, fighting hard for the battle of life and death...Lord be with them and give them strength and hope in you.

How You extended my life about 18years ago...may You also extend the life of the little ones...even tho You mentioned that those who cannot differentiate the left and the right, not knowing right & wrong (the children), salvation is given to them, because God, You are Love!

Emmanuel, and God be our Strength!

Preparing a new place

Its the first time I am getting a house.
No, I am not getting married...sorry to disappoint you :)
I am getting a house with my siblings.
Moving nearer to my elder brother.

Never know that 'building' a house of your own could be that stressful and lots of things to take into consideration.
First..satisfying your parents yet not wanting them to ruin your 'idea concept of your house' because its your house.
Second, BUDGET...never know that renovating a house could cost so much and 20k cannot get you anywhere...you can only get the least and minimum.
Alot of hidden cost, such as lightings, heater, aircon, accessories, fan, electronic stuff, fridge, tv and so on...

Finally I got my 1st master bed room. Though I could get my bathtub. Its always being my dream to have my bath tube...never know buidling a bath tube could cost additional thousand over dollars...it over our budget...thus I have to wait till I get my bonus..hopefully I can get...then I can finally have my bath tube.
But that will not happen till probably next year.
Even getting my 1st queen size bed costed me S$900+...that is not with the ideal mattress which I want. I probably have to top up another S$200 to get that ideal mattress.

Our budget for each room is only S$2k. So I ended up getting only a wardrobe (customise-6feet) and a queen size bed. Others I will need to save up and add on later..bit by bit...Anyway, with that bed...currently already exceeded my budget by S$200..if to get a better one..will exceed by S$400...
I still have to buy the curtain for my room and the track and curtains for my bed...cuz I want to do up my 'princess-like bed'-something like a canopy bed.

A good thing for this renovation is that my sis is very supportive to how I wish the house to be done up. Thanks sis!

Our new house concept is cafe-relax style.
Each room will have its own theme tho.
Will probably settle which renovation company to use by this or next week.

Ideally will have house warming during this coming Christmas..and have our carolling group coming over to sing carols during christmas eve:)

May our Lord blessed this home!

同好友见面

昨天同我的死党好友Gilbert见面了.

他是我读书时非常要好的朋友;一个会真心关心我的朋友.
在他面前非常自在.他让我能够开怀的笑.

想想我们有接近两年没见面了.那老友的感觉还在.
我想这就是真正的友情吧!
不管多久没见面,甚至没联络;不会埋怨,
只有希望对方过得好.那就心满意足了!

向往常一样,他问"有没有好消息?"
我笑笑说:"没消息就是好消息."
他奇怪的看着我,问为何如此说.

我解释:"因为现在实在太忙了,纪要工作,读书,我没剩下多少时间能休息了.
我有时间就同家人在一起,要不就看韩剧或做一些自己喜欢的事.
对我来说很宝贵.根本没时间去谈恋爱.所以没有是件好事."

所谓恋爱-它虽甜蜜但同时要付出代价.
现在的我根本没法子.
工作和学业压力很大.
对我而言,恋爱虽是甜蜜的但也是痛苦的.
我不想同情人吵架,很伤神.
更不想受伤.已经没精力去克服这方面的事.
我想这是我目前的状况与心态吧!

我不否认单身难免也有寂寞的时候,特别是当你生病的时候好想有人关心疼爱甚至照顾你.
但是我还不是活得好好的吗？
问问,有多少爱人会在你生病时在你身边照顾你?
你的有吗?
如真的有,那你是幸福的!

所以说有"好消息,不见得就会比现在更好!"